teen driver – thedriversedlady

You’ve been honked at…

I was driving with Stuart doing exactly the speed limit in our drivers ed car with the big yellow sign on the roof, when someone behind us felt the need to honk at us. We were driving completely correctly, and honestly the speed limit is there for everyone, not just us. So, we have officially decided it is kind of a badge of honor to be honked at in the drivers ed car, as crazy as that sounds. We refuse to be made to feel like we are doing something wrong by driving correctly. So, Autumn, my class doodler took up the task of making me some amazing angry goose drawings that I had made into stickers. So now, if we get honked at for no apparent reason, my student gets a goose sticker on their folder. Gabe got the first one today for not pulling up to block an intersection even though the light was green. He stayed behind the barrier line, which was the correct thing to do, much to the dismay of the driver behind us. He got the first sticker!

My Turn

It’s finally my turn. After all of these years of being a drivers ed teacher and empathizing with parents, my kiddo is finally 15 1/2, old enough to start legally practice driving out on the roads. We had the day marked on the calendar for about a year. We had read the driving manual and answered the questions. We had a route all planned. We had gone through the basics of vehicle control in a parking lot, and spent time figuring out what all the buttons and levers do in the car. We had the log sheet printed out, and birth certificate in the car.

After years of driving bikes, golf carts, and hearing all of my advice, I felt pretty sure she would be ready to do this. We started slow, went around the parking lot a few times to get the feel for things, and then, finally, out on the road! She was nervous, but calm. Me too.

So everyone always says to me, “But you have a brake!” As with all my students, I am glad it’s there with my kiddo, but I’m not terribly inclined to use it unless I absolutely have to. I want her to use her judgement, and to know I trust her even as I’m there to back her up. She’s doing so well so far! It’s been about two weeks now, and we’ve logged about 11 hours so far. Slow, steady progress from back roads to busier roads, traffic lights and just now doing a few lane changes. Highway will be the next big hurdle. She’s gotten pretty good with forward parking too, which makes it easier to do driving practice when she can park when we get places. Haven’t tried pulling into the garage yet. We’ll work our way up to that one also. I need to come up with a good strategy to explain it first.

So, finally parents, I’m one of you. It’s a fine line between wanting to give too much advice and wanting to let her figure it out. Thankfully she’s also got a good sense of direction, so I’m trying to not tell her which way to go all the time, which is hard for me. I asked her to please forgive me if I did it anyways, since that’s usually my job, and that’s it’s not personal. She’s thankfully being patient with me too. Hang in there everyone! We can do this. Having good communication helps, and having clear, realistic expectations, and patience all around seem to be making it better in our house. Let me know if you have any tips for me or each other for making this transition easier. Thanks!

Teen Tracking: You are Here

One of my students was just telling me that their parents had been sneaky and installed an app on their phone without her knowledge. The app is called Life360 and it is designed to basically spy on her. Her parents will get reports based on anywhere she goes. It will relay to them top speeds, time for a given trip, sudden braking, and phone usage. Now, she was pretty unhappy that they had done this without telling her, but understood why. When she asked them about it, they told her they had done it, and that she would be in trouble if she disabled it. She understood their concerns about her driving, as she is about to get her first license. She also said this would let them know how her friends are driving, since they will know how long it took them, for example, to get to her dance class, which usually takes 15 minutes, and might take considerably less with some friends behind the wheel. So there might be some friends she will not be able to get rides from in the future, and she better watch her own driving when she is the one behind the wheel.

So, I started looking into this idea. There are a bunch of articles out there on different ways to spy on the kids. There are apps, devices to install in the car, and combo’s of both. USA Today wrote an article on technology and lists lots of options. Consumer Reports also wrote an article on how to track your teen driver. U.S. News & World Report did a piece on some of their favorite options. Feel free to peruse to see if any of these will be a good fit for your family. None of these articles though, really talked about whether this is a good choice.

Parent as you see fit. Use technology to do so if it makes sense for your family. I think we all need to do everything possible to keep our kids safe and sound, along with the rest of us out on the roads with these new drivers. Don’t feel bad for protecting your kids, and mine. I count on the fact that my kiddo knows that not only will I be watching out for their driving, but so will their friends parents, our amazing police, and everyone in this small town. Know who your kiddo is getting into a car with and how they drive. Make sure that if your kiddo is driving alone or with other kids in the car that they are making the safest choices possible. Set rules and stick to them. Have clear boundaries and consequences. Love your kids the best way you know how. Make choices you can feel good about. Good luck!

Choosing the Best Car

A lot of parents ask me what I might recommend as the best car for a new driver.

My best advice is to think about how they will use this car. If you have 8 kids and four really big dogs, a small car may not be the best fit for the family. If your kiddo loves to ski and plans to drive up mountains in the snow, maybe 4-wheel drive will be important. If they do a lot of stop-and-go city driving, a standard transmission might be a poor choice unless they like standing on a clutch. You want to feel good about the car, and you want them to like the car. Of course, some are more interested than others in things like the color, number of cup-holders, and aux-cord availability. New cars may have all the modern safety features you are looking for, whereas a used car may be more affordable.

I think reliability should be the first priority. I think safety is also important. The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety put out this article about the latest safety ratings for cars for teen drivers. Cost will also certainly be a factor. Think about the costs of not just the car, but insurance, maintenance, gas mileage, and/or repairs.

Think about the tone of the discussion too. If you are telling your teenager that an old beater is the best choice because you think that they are likely to ding it up, that’s not a great vote of confidence for them. On the other hand, if you are getting them a brand new dream car, it may be overpowered for them and you may be sending the message that a new car is no big deal and that if they wreck it, it’s no problem, you’ll just get them another one. Think about how you want them to feel about the car. I would try for something in the middle where they will respect the car and try their best to take good care of it, but also not be beside themselves if something small happens to it.

Buying a car is an emotional purchase, and we all remember our first car. Think about how you felt about yours, and find that balance between practical, safe, and really liking the car. They only get one first car, make it a good one. Good luck!