There is an art to giving directions. So many of my students are on edge because they say their parents sometimes wait until the last minute to mention an upcoming turn or lane change. If you want to put your student at ease, give them plenty of warning. As a parent, we live in a world where we are thinking about how to get everywhere as soon as possible. We have driven to most of our destinations over and over, and do not have to plan ahead very much to get where we want to go. You may have to think a little differently when your student is ready to get out there.
First, leave yourself enough time to get there. Being stressed that you are in a rush adds to the panic level in the car, and believe me, your kiddo feels that tension, and often translates that into the idea that they are doing something wrong.
Next, plan your route ahead of time. Think about how to minimize lane changes unless that is what you are trying to conquer. Think about how to not put them into situations where you will both be uncomfortable. Pick one skill to focus on for the day and remember to celebrate those successes.
When you are giving directions, I like to tell them about a turn about when I would put my blinker on. There should be enough time for a couple of clicks – at least 100 feet away, or the distance between telephone poles on the side of the road. If you ask for an upcoming turn too soon – before they can see it, they will be confused. If you wait too long, they will panic.
It’s always nice if you have a landmark they can recognize. I love it when I can say, “follow that blue truck,” or “turn right at the big white sign,” for example. Use small, easy words. “Turn left at the next traffic light.” Don’t just say, “turn up there.” Also, pointing does NOT work. They cannot see your perspective, and it will confuse them. Know too, that when kiddos are nervous, a lot of them confuse left and right. Check to see which blinker they put on when you give a direction so you can make a correction in time if need be.
Don’t assume your kids know where things are, even if they have been there a million times. They have been looking at their phones, and not your driving. Make sure you point out a route when you are driving, and/or give good directions the first time they do it before you expect that they will be able to find their way. Good luck, stay calm, and get out there!
