We’ve lost a teenager

My town lost a teenager yesterday. I’m crushed. I didn’t know this boy, or his family, and I didn’t teach him to drive, but I know my town and I know teenage drivers. According to the police report it was a single vehicle crash with excessive speed. I drove through that same road half an hour earlier with my daughter, and we pulled over for the fire truck that was probably responding to the accident on our way home.

It wasn’t my kid but it could have been any of my students. It’s a skinny road with curves and hills and wildlife, and the corner of the crash is a blind intersection. I don’t know what happened. I do know that when teenagers have their license for a little while, sometimes they like to push the boundaries, and think that they know every turn of a road like that and can go fast. It wasn’t dark, it wasn’t bad weather, and the driver was alone with no one to show off for. These things really can happen anywhere, anytime. As a parent, and as a teacher this is so scary.

I know that our amazing high school, starting next week with one less senior, will respond with grief counselors, and the town will rally around the family with food and cards and anything we can think of to be supportive. Let’s please take a moment to think of this family, this whole community which will be affected, and think about what we can do. Let’s start changing the culture that says that faster is better, driving is a place where you can shave off a few minutes out of your busy day, and that people who go the speed limit are annoying. Hug your kids and remind them to drive carefully. Model safe driving and take care of each other.

-thedriversedlady

I feel so badly for the people stuck behind us…

That was my quote of the day the other day. My student was driving at 29 MPH in a 30 MPH zone, and she said, “I feel so badly for the people stuck behind us right now.” I won’t lie, this kind of made me upset.

How can it be wrong to go the speed limit? There is no reason to feel badly for people who have to go the speed limit. They are supposed to be going the speed limit too. The fact that cars get stacked up behind us going the speed limit means that they were clearly speeding, or they would not have caught up to us. Every one of them had to have been speeding.

The fact that this student has this thought, makes me think that in her car at home she routinely hears comments that make her think it is a mistake or a bad thing to hold up the people behind you, and that if you are going the speed limit you will annoy people. That it is somehow something to apologize for.

Why have we, as a society, decided that this is the one law that does not matter? That it is not just OK to speed, but that everyone does it, and therefore we should too? Why do people think that being behind a student driver who is going one MPH below the speed limit is doing so just to annoy them? My favorite is when people want to yell in our direction, “Learn how to drive!” I hate to tell you, but that’s what we are doing.

So please think about what we are teaching your kiddos. How impatient are you when other cars are driving slowly, and what is your definition of going slowly? The speed limit is there for the safety of everyone. You may disagree, but maybe you should take it up with the people who actually make the speed limits. The decisions are actually a factor of many things including how far you can see down the road, the average speed of 70% of traffic on that stretch of road, pavement grip, and previous accidents in that location. You may think you know what you would make the speed limit, but you do not have all the facts.

Try to be patient and grant a little grace to the kids trying to be rule followers and just get comfortable out on the roads. Let it be OK to go the speed limit. Try it yourself once in a while! Thanks.

Right On Red

You never have to go right on red at a traffic light.

There are times when you can, but it is never required.

Sometimes people forget that.

The rules are simple.

  1. You must come to a complete stop behind the barrier line, (wide white stop line in front of you.)
  2. Signal your intention to turn with your right blinker. Yes, even if it is a turn-only lane.
  3. Look for a sign. If there is a big “No Turn On Red,” sign, you cannot go.
  4. Look for cars in all directions. Look left, right, straight ahead, and even for cars making U-turns. If anyone is going, they have right-of-way, and you cannot go.
  5. Look for pedestrians. I anyone is walking, they have right-of-way, and you cannot go.
  6. Look for flashing walk signs. Even if there are no pedestrians in sight, if there is a walk sign illuminated for pedestrians, you do not have right-of-way, and you cannot go.
  7. If there is no sign, no cars moving, no pedestrians, and no walk sign illuminated, then you can go right on red.

Know that most of the time, by the time you have figured all that out, the light goes green, and you can go anyways. If you are not certain about the situation, or cannot see well enough to feel safe, do not go. You never have the right-of-way making a right on red. There may be times when people around you might get frustrated if you do not even make an attempt, but you never have to go if you are unsure. I little experience out there on the busier roads, and you will feel better about those decisions. You can always try to figure it out when you are passenger a few times, before you try it yourself. Be safe!

The art of giving directions

There is an art to giving directions. So many of my students are on edge because they say their parents sometimes wait until the last minute to mention an upcoming turn or lane change. If you want to put your student at ease, give them plenty of warning. As a parent, we live in a world where we are thinking about how to get everywhere as soon as possible. We have driven to most of our destinations over and over, and do not have to plan ahead very much to get where we want to go. You may have to think a little differently when your student is ready to get out there.

First, leave yourself enough time to get there. Being stressed that you are in a rush adds to the panic level in the car, and believe me, your kiddo feels that tension, and often translates that into the idea that they are doing something wrong.

Next, plan your route ahead of time. Think about how to minimize lane changes unless that is what you are trying to conquer. Think about how to not put them into situations where you will both be uncomfortable. Pick one skill to focus on for the day and remember to celebrate those successes.

When you are giving directions, I like to tell them about a turn about when I would put my blinker on. There should be enough time for a couple of clicks – at least 100 feet away, or the distance between telephone poles on the side of the road. If you ask for an upcoming turn too soon – before they can see it, they will be confused. If you wait too long, they will panic.

It’s always nice if you have a landmark they can recognize. I love it when I can say, “follow that blue truck,” or “turn right at the big white sign,” for example. Use small, easy words. “Turn left at the next traffic light.” Don’t just say, “turn up there.” Also, pointing does NOT work. They cannot see your perspective, and it will confuse them. Know too, that when kiddos are nervous, a lot of them confuse left and right. Check to see which blinker they put on when you give a direction so you can make a correction in time if need be.

Don’t assume your kids know where things are, even if they have been there a million times. They have been looking at their phones, and not your driving. Make sure you point out a route when you are driving, and/or give good directions the first time they do it before you expect that they will be able to find their way. Good luck, stay calm, and get out there!

Objects in the rear view mirror may be closer than they appear… but only if you look.

My daughter parked her car at a friends house the other day and then they took the friend’s car to go out to eat. While they were gone, the friend’s poor dad backed into my daughter’s car. Now, we can all picture this happening. In our own driveway, we tend to just be on auto-pilot and back up right where we always do without really thinking or looking behind us, secure in the knowledge that we know exactly what is supposed to be there.

Take that extra moment before throwing your car in reverse, and check your mirror. Always look behind you when backing up, even in your own driveway. It could be an animal wandering through, a tool left out, toys from munchkins, or even a person. Thankfully, everyone is fine, the car will be fixed, and life goes on. Sigh.

Big Wheels

Saw this amazing guy in the high school parking lot where we were learning some fabulous parking today. Did you know these bikes don’t have brakes? You just have to pedal slower. Good thing it’s flat ground here. Stopping and getting off are the hard parts. He did great, as did my student with his parking!

Party Favor

This week’s winner for the strangest thing we saw on Main Street is….

A woman walking down the sidewalk by herself carrying a rainbow poop emoji piñata. I don’t know where she was coming from, or headed to, but she was alone, and not looking particularly pleased with herself. Hopefully the party spirit will come to her when she delivers her purchase to it’s final destination, and that it is the only thing to come to blows. Good luck!